Date with the security guard - follow me young grasshopper.

So last night was my first date with the Security Guard. I worked until 8 and we agreed to meet at Chili's at 9:30 for dinner and drinks. I had a hard day at work so I was dying for some margaritas. I was slightly nervous when I got there but I definitely felt more comfortable when I saw him. He is definitely my type physically. He's a clean cut, Jersey boy. This was his first time in Staten Island which blew my mind. I've been to Jersey many times, hell I even dated someone who lived there for three years, how has he never ventured across that bridge? The conversation flowed well throughout dinner with no awkward silence. Since I had work early this morning, we did not go out after dinner. Instead we sat in his car, listened to mixes that he made (he's a DJ sometimes, for funsies I guess) and then made out for a little.

I don't know what it was about him, he's only a little over a year younger than me but I just feel so much older than he is. Maybe we are in different places in life and have had different experiences? Not sure but that is where the title of this entry comes from. Honestly it is nothing against him but I just don't feel like a relationship is going to come from this. This is so unlike me, I am usually the girl who would kill to be in a relationship with a guy after just one date. I guess I am growing up? He is a really nice guy, goodlooking and a great kisser, I might definitely keep him around but casually just to see if it goes anywhere. I'm 22 and single, why not have all the fun I can have while I still got it?

Tomorrow is Ice Crotch's birthday. Yes, I call my mother Ice Crotch. I swear though, it is all out of love. I am actually not giving her a gift tomorrow because in a few weeks I am going to finally buy myself a macbook! The special for students (yay for being a super-duper senior!) is that you buy and macbook and get an ipod touch for free. Since my mother has been dying for an ipod touch and I've been dying for a macbook, this is perfect. While this purchase will not put me in a hole per se, it definitely is not a financially responsible move. The zero interest for the first year on the card is a definite incentive though so I'm gonna to save up for a few more weeks and then put the remaining balance on that card. I have wanted a white macbook for two years now. It is a beautiful machine and I truly cannot wait to have one to call my own.

So Electric Man and I were talking earlier and we decided that one day during the week (since tomorow night it will be thunderstorming) we are going to finally meet and either go for a walk on the boardwalk or at Ft Wadsworth because it is right under the bridge and is beautiful at night. Not sure which day yet, that all depends on the whether and our schedules. While I'm still excited to finally meet this man, some of it has faded since what it was. That's only expected though, considering we've been talking for nearly a month and have still not met.

We shall wait and see ...

Oh sweet, sweet, morning off…

Since I have come to the conclusion that I must not be worthy of a full day off, I am trying to enjoy my six hours off that I am lucky enough to have every Friday morning. This morning was great, I woke up around 9AM and actually had a filling, healthy breakfast for once. All was well until I had to waste an hour of my morning off on the phone with Time Warner Cable. Frankly, I am sick of it. My internet connection is so unreliable and the truth is, I had constant internet access only when I stole it off of one of my neighbors. Either they figured me out or their box is off because I have not been able to find it in a few weeks.

So tonight I have my first date with the Security Guard and I am actually kind of nervous. I don't know what kind of nervous I am but I just know that I am un-easy about something. I've never done this before. I mean I've met men from the internet before (Tight Wad) but this was after a full week of talking and I went with Dora to meet him (I was 18 at the time). This just all feels very, sudden to me. I guess this is how online dating works though? I don't know...

Has anyone had an experience with an online dating site and meeting people off them? If so, kindly comment with some advice/inspiration. My email goes to my phone so I will definitely be able to read your comments. Thank you!!

PS - Instead of offering to come into work early today, I am actually going to the gym. Who am I? Seriously!

I got you all figured out, you need everyone's eyes just to feel seen.

So since things with Electric Man are kind of at a stand still (we are still talking regularly but nothing has been mentioned about rescheduling our date), I've decided to take eharmony more seriously. After all, I am paying for it. I started talking to this guy who will be referred to simply as The Security Guard yesterday and our exchange quickly switched the regular e-mail. He is a little over a year younger than me but is physically my type and so far it seems that personality-wise he is as well. We are actually looking to possibly meet up this weekend. Considering I have yet to meet ANY of these men in person, this is really bold for me. I have decided to stop being such a pansy and just go for it because again, I PAID for these services that have been rendered but am not taking advantage of. There is absolutely nothing that I can lose from this, only gain.

Another match from eharmony that I have that seems promising is at a bit of a standstill for a moment because for the life of me I cannot answer one of his open-ended questions. The question asked If I could do something completely out of character and remain anonymous, what would it be? Normally, you would think that this would be an easy question for me to answer since I am somewhat of a tight-ass and a lot of things are out of character for me. This is true, however none of those things are actions that I would like to remain anonymous for. One of the things that I immediately thought of was to have a one night stand. I am one of those people that put the pussy on a pedestal, my pussy that is, so a one night stand is definitely out of character for me. I would not mind if I was anonymous for this act however I feel that my match would kind of be weirded out by this answer so, no bueno. Another possible response I thought of was to be carefree and relaxed. I was all for that until I realized that I would not want to remain anonymous for that. I would want to shout it out to WHOMEVER it may concern that I am no longer a neurotic whack-a-doodle. Another possibility would be to say that I would love to be more confident and allow people to see the REAL ME. Yes, definitely out of character but impossible to remain anonymous for, it would almost defeat the purpose.

Le sigh, I just hope he does not become impatient and close the match because I haven't responded yet. Fuck you eharmony, bad enough you have to give us "guided communication", as if we are too inept to freely speak to our matches, but you had to go make the questions difficult. Don't you realize what type of crazy might be using your services?!

In better news, I seem to be kicking ass at both school AND work. We received our midterm grades today and my grades are 3 A's and 1 B, making my GPA (as of right now) a 3.79. I have actually done better in school before but hopefully that will be good enough to make the Dean's List (a goal on my Day Zero Project). If not, I will just have to raise that B to an A which is very possible considering the B is in a class that I failed the first test for. At work yesterday one of the girls I work with over-heard the Head Teller saying that I no longer have differences and that I am getting good. That felt SO good to hear! Let's just hope that she did not jinx me and I end up with a difference tonight! I'm excited, I've never ruled at work and school simultaneously so I hope I can keep this up!

Now, if I can just rule the dating scene as well, I will be all set!

In desperate need of a mental health day here

I have actually taken two mental health days from school very recently, both by complete accident. I'm not at my limit for absences but I am also not too far as well so I definitely need to keep that in check. However, both of those "mental health days" were days that I had work as well, so I really did not have a full day off. Right now, that is what I need more than anything, a full day off where I don't have school or work. I really don't know what I would do with myself. I would probably wake up earlier since my body is somewhat used to it, go to the gym and then the pool when I get home. I have only been in a pool once this summer and have yet to lay out in the sun. I am so pale, you would not think that this was the end of July. Speaking of which, this means that we are a mere six weeks away from fall/my birthday/end of the semester! I never thought I would be wishing the summer away but I need something.

So I finally found a way to manage my credit card debt. Granted, its only a minor amount of debt (thank GOD for that!), I was still having trouble finding a way to pay it all off in a timely fashion and not be flat broke. I applied for major credit card and was approved with a high enough limit to transfer all of my balances over to it. Also, for a year I have no interest on balance transfers! I seriously feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of my shoulders, I now have a way to pay off all of this debt and I can still have money in my pocket so I don't end up charging back up the cards that I paid off. I think to also cut back on costs instead of getting a $25 gel manicure (that still chips because of work) AND a pedicure every two weeks, I could learn how to paint my own nails and save $50 a month.

I hope to accomplish some of the money saving tasks I have on my Day Zero Project by the end of this year!

How do you manage to save money?

i feel pretty, oh so pretty

So I took a little extra time to really do my makeup nice this morning. Actually, scratch that, I did my makeup the same excessive way I do every day but this morning I did something different, I put lipgloss on. WHO KNEW that something as simple as putting lipgloss on could boast one's confidence at least 10%?! I wear the same full face of makeup day in and day out and never leave the house without feeling pretty, yet all it takes it some pink goop on my lips and VIOLA! I feel pretty, oh so pretty!

OH I FEEL PRETTY and WITTY AND BRIGHT! AND I PITY...

OK, back to the post.

Last night Electric Man cancelled on me, again for work-related purposes. Now honestly, I don't blame him because I would have done the same thing but at the same time, how many times does he think this is going to fly? I mean the poor thing has already used up two of his three strikes and I have not even met him yet. Last night Dora definitely brought up some valid points for this, that maybe he is nervous/weary about this because he did not go on the website to look for a girl, he just happened to stumble across my ad. I totally respect that and all but let's face fact here, I am fucking amazing. Somewhat insane but still, amazing. It really would be his loss if he chooses to not pursue anything or see where it could go.

Let me just come off my high horse a little...

I so got to thinking at that particular ad that I posted that he responded to. It was almost a joke ad, poking fun at the Ricky Retardos that had answered my two previous ads. I did not expect any feedback except negative, which I did receive some of. I totally used my fucked up sense of humor and almost accidentally, displayed my personality in this ad and ended up getting a response from someone who appreciates it, which is exactly what I need. A recent post by Carrie Bradshaw is full of shit definitely got me thinking that if I were to write my ad on eharmony in this style, what would it say? I might include how messed up/offensive my sense of humor can get, that I love to tell stories and will never shut up, and how up until very recently I thought that Mexico was its own little entity, surrounded by water. I need a man who will enjoy my sense of humor and appreciate the quirks that I have.

I know I will find this man (or he will find me) eventually but its just annoying when something seems like it would go well and then it just does not happen. That is life though and I have a lot to be grateful for if this is my only issue right now.

Dog days of summer...

So New York City is in the middle of yet another heat wave. Normally by this time of the year, I would have a beautiful cinnamon tan and my hair would even be half a shade later. No, not this summer. If I am not at school from Mon-Thurs all day, I am at work Fri-Sun all day. It leaves me zero time to tan/relax and I have yet to go to the beach this year. One thing that I am thankful for I guess is that I work my weekends away in an air conditioned bank so when customers come in all hot and bothered, I am most likely chilled at room temperature, enjoying myself.

I am going to go ahead and blame my lack of posting on my hectic schedule and the heat. I think of great ideas for posts but I usually cannot find the time to post them. Even when I have an extra half hour to spare, I sometimes cannot find a way to start the post and get my idea across. I promise you, this will go back to normal, just like the weather. We are not even in August yet and I am already sick of this! Last summer, I would have given everything I had to make it last longer. This year? I am just counting down the days until my birthday, which also happens to be the last day of my semester. Its not like I get a break between semesters, just that one weekend but still, it will feel amazing to be done with atleast some of this program. I can't wait for the fall colors to come back in, to be able to wear my uggs again and to sip pumpkin spice lattes. Also, to celebrate my 23rd birthday. I've yet to actually celebrate my birthday like I should but I don't think I can this year, funds are still extremely low.

Speaking of low funds, Marathoner's birthday is coming up next month and she finally figured out what she wanted to do. She wants everyone to go to this casino in Bethlehem, PA. Not bad, its probably cheaper than AC. I was thinking that I would drive out there after work on Saturday (the day of) and just take off the Sunday to stay over and drive back. So that way, I would only miss one day of my weekend, where the bulk of my paycheck comes from. I found out last night that she is spending the DAY at the casino. I don't mean to sound selfish and all, I know she is one of my best friends and she IS moving back to PA this fall (more on that one later) but I simply cannot afford to take a Saturday off.

Tonight is my first date with Electric Man. It was supposed to be on Saturday but he got called in to work so tonight it is. Wish my luck, lets hope I don't fuck this one up!

its been one week since you looked at me

and also one week since I've written a post! I do apoloize, it was my summer break and I was being extremely lazy. Now that my summer vacation is over and I am back to school, I will probably be back to updating ad nauseum. You have been warned.

My, my, where have I left off? Oh yes, my new dating adventure. Stay tuned for a post about some poor soul that I appear to have offended, it should be hilarious and more importantly touches on an issue very near and dear to my heart, a future HEFFER PRIDE PARADE. More about that in my next post though.

So, I believe I have met someone normal! I know, I am shocked as well. On Wednesday or Tuesday a man that I will now refer to as Electric Man (serious, SERIOUS brownie points for those who picked up on the Family Guy reference) emailed me and we have been talking ever since. We seem to have a lot in common, especially with our personalities and how much we both love to talk and tell stories, so it seems like it will go well. I am still extremely skeptical, especially because of where I met him off of. As a result of this, I am no longer posting ads on that site. I no longer have time for the level of crazy that responds and also, I feel the Electric Man will probably be the most normal guy I meet off of there so I am just going to quit while I am ahead. Oh, and Jesus Christ the mother fucker COOKS! I have never met a man who can cook before!? Oh dear, definitely only a matter of time before I fuck this one up! We are most likely going out for drinks on either Friday or Saturday night. Even though I feel mildy comfortable and he agreed (without any argument) to meet up on Staten Island so I'm comfortable, I am still notifying Dora of my whereabouts on an hourly basis. I am sure serial killers usually make their victims feel comfortable as well, before they slice their throats open.

The only thing that really concerns me about Electric Man is how smart he is. This was one of the things that first attracted him to me, how smart I sounded in emails but emails are very different from texting. I take the time to carefully craft what I am going to say and how I am going to say it. Texting? I just let whatever shit to come out of my mouth flow. Speaking of shit that comes out of my mouth. Dora made a post about that very thing here. (Follow her btw, maybe then she'll post more) Granted those are only a few examples but you could definitely tell that I'm a winner. I am afraid that he's going to realize this and instead of appreciating it as part of my charm, turn around and have the biggest WTF moment known to man.

How this will all pan out? I guess we just have to wait and see...

i've officially become a creeper magnet

So sorry, I definitely did not neglect this blog. I just had a lovely holiday weekend which included work for 95% of it. I'm not really complaining though, for the first time in a very long time I can honestly say that I love my job. I love the people I work with and the fact that on the fourth of July when it was absolutely dead, we played mad libs and these kids games that we found off of the bank's website. I also got to work with a superviser that I normally don't and ended up bonding a little. I just find it a little odd that a bank was open on a federal holiday. Usually banks are one of the businesses that are closed on those days.

So the new dating adventure is going OK, I guess. I don't know, I guess I am really just not into it anymore. I am the type of girl that loves male attention but honestly that is not really phasing me anymore. I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I guess I really have hit that point where I don't care if I am with someone or not. I just hope that if I meet a guy that I am really interested in and like, that this all changes.

The guys that I am talking to; if they are not in their 40s they are divorced w/ kids, only want sex, or are SUPER SUPER CLINGY. To make it even worse, they are being clingy only after talking on BBM for like an hour. Then BBMing me over and over again if I do not answer right away. I've been trying to delete the weirdos right away when the cuckoo clock starts to chime, however the BBM icon is starting to appear as if those convos were still up and they were still talking. Back to the clinginess though, I just don't get it. I think I've mentiond this in other entries but what gives with guys being this clingy? It is SUCH a double standard because God forbid a girl was to act like this, she would be a complete psycho. I have had guys get turned off by my really wanting something to work after a few months yet I have some freakazoid saying that same thing after only BBMing me for an hour, without meeting me or anything.

One of the things that I really want to learn how to do is seperate sex from emotions. In fact it is item on both my 101 in 1001 and Knot List projects. This new dating adventure and me totally not caring would definitely help me accomplish this. Its just that I am a little EXTREMELY cautious to meet men off of the internet. For those of you that have met guys this way, how did you go about doing it? What did you make sure of beforehand? Please give me any advice you have, thank you!

new dating adventure, wherein I end up on the six o'clock news

So due to Dora's recent success, I decided to try another method of meeting guys. I will not admit what site it is, I'm still trying to get used to the concept but its one where many freaks hide out. I'm just being very cautious but honestly, so far so good. A LOT better than eharmony, especially since its free. Biggest mistake of my life was paying for that site. Lesson learned though.

I started talking to this gorgeous man who is WAY out of my league last night. Actually, I shouldn't say that because I once felt that Tight Wad was out of my league and clearly he wasn't. The whole time I just kept thinking to myself "Too good to be true, too good to be true". Then he started repeatedly asking for me to try and sneak out or to call him (I live with my mom, this was at 3AM) after I said no. Is this how 30 year old men act? Is this the norm and maybe I'm not used to it because I'm still in my early twenties? It just gives me the willies (yes, I did just say that) especially considering where I met him. He gave me his word that he's not a creep but let's be real, his word is going to mean shit when the K-9 squad has to dig up my body in Clove Lakes Park. While he's my type to a T, he is just moving way too fast for my comfort level.

Oh, you are probably what exactly possessed me to join this site? I came to the conclusion last night that I am like a dog in heat. Its bad. Like I never really complain about not "getting any" and I think a lot of my reason for it is because I'm not open to just a random encounter but, its getting bad. Right now I am at the longest point I have gone, I was at this point last year but I was dating Minute Man so I knew that relief was on its way. I did not anticipate that relief being for less than two minutes but, shit happens. Still I am not just looking for a fun night. I'm looking for a guy that I could be excited about again, that I could feel that connection with, that I could want to kiss and just have that attraction to.

All eharmony has bought me are complete dudes and I'm getting tired of it.