I really don't need a prompt to tell me what my best decision this year was.

So since I really have to get ready for work and blogger failed at saving my first draft to this post, it will be very short and just mention the prompts from Reverb10.

December 9 – Party Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Author: Shauna Reid)

Either this year was just boring or I cannot think right now but I guess I am going to have to go with my sorority's formal that was in the spring. Despite having some fun date drama I still managed to have a good time and get incredibly shit faced. The drinks were not watered down as usually are and I found myself very drunk by the end of cocktail hour. The rest of the night consisted of even more drinking, sloppy dancing, me crying my head off and then throwing up in another girl's room. I woke up the next morning on the floor, wrapped in a blanket and still wearing my dress. When I was finally able to pick my head up I looked over to see one of the new girls passed out in a ball pit. I guess you could say that Formal 2010 was a success. I'm still not sure if I am going to go next year, it all depends on who is going and where I am with my life.

December 10 – Wisdom Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)

The wisest decision that I made this year was to transfer out of St. John's and into court reporting school. I have never been happier and have never done so well in school. My motivation has not let up, mostly because I now have a direction in my life. I know that upon graduating I will have a job and be a court reporter. In St. John's I had NO idea what I was going to do after graduation. I knew that I was going to have to be placed on suicide watch because of my student loans though and with an entry-level position in the hospitality industry, had NO clue how I was going to pay them off. Court reporting school is cheaper so my loans will not be too, too bad but I will still have my loans from St. John's to pay off. These are just some of the many reasons why I feel I made the best decision that I could have made for my life.

This was like the third or fourth prompt that the answer has been about school. I guess it really was the best decision I could have made for my life.

The back of my throat is numb… What are you doing?

I hate not having enough time to post in this. School and work have just been in full swing lately and even though it is stressful, I feel that I am doing quite well. We are on the last chapter of theory in our book and now we start to build speed very soon so I am kind of nervous about that. I know I will be fine in the beginning. Just from seeing/hearing others I am confident that I will end up passing my 70 at the end of this semester. I manage to practice often and I just know myself. After that? ... not so sure. I have heard that a popular speed that people get stuck on is 90 so I've braced myself for it. I know that this is a hard and frustrating thing to do however, I also know that it is not impossible. I also know what I am capable of doing once I apply myself to something but unfortunately this is something that I have failed to do consistently all throughout my life. I was starting to feel bad that the majority of my posts are about school but then I thought fuck it. This is MY blog, about MY life and if right now my life is mainly just school, then so be it. It is not going to be like this forever. This is just one long, boring chapter in the book of Nikki.

Speaking of school, I guess I must have not graduated high school in 2005 because I feel that I am right back there all over again. There is A LOT of drama that goes on here and I actually think its because the majority of us are from Staten Island. I guess I just expected this to be more of a professional environment, especially because everyone here is training for a career as opposed to say a job. Whatever, I need to block it out and not have it bother me. In the end, this is MY life I am bettering so it really does not matter what the people around me are choosing to do with theirs.

For reasons that I will not go into at this time, I have been feeling very lonely lately. On Saturday I went over one of my sorority sister's houses and had a much needed girls night. We ended up going to the local sex store and just having a lot of fun. I guess its been a long time since I was regularly getting laid because they have all of this new stuff that I was not aware of. One of the items that someone had found and purchased were these mints that numbed the back of your throat. Trust me, they actually work as well. Unfortunately I have not yet learned to separate sex from emotion (that summer goal was not completed... FAIL) so I did not have a little um "friend" that I could send a text to about this. This does not bother me as much because for the first time in like ever I am actually truly content with being single. Not to say if I met a guy who truly knocked me off my feet I would not go for it but for right now, this is working for me. I guess it is a blessing in disguise that the guy I have a serious crush on might have a girlfriend. Sometimes life is funny that way I guess. Its just a little unfortunate that somewhere out there, there is a guy who missed out on an amazing blow job.

Santa rides a bike and Elvis has clearly never left this building

Well last week was filled with more drama than I would ever like to be present. On Friday, an alumni member on my tree had a BBQ and invited a whole bunch of active girls, including their absentee president. I saw a lot of girls that I have not seen all summer and at one point I actually felt like I was Don Corleone on the day of my daughter's wedding because I kept having private (drama filled) conversations with girls off to the side. First up, my twin! I have not seen/spoken to her since the beginning of the summer so it was just really good to catch up with her. She is someone that I feel that I could trust and I just loved catching up with her. Next was my little, unfortunately this conversation was not so successful. She just denied everything and made it seem like people were spreading all of these rumors about her. Now, I'm sure that some of what I heard was exaggerating but I cannot believe that everything was a lie. I'm just even more disappointed in her because she did not own up to ONE thing. I would have had a lot more respect for her if she did. I guess she truly is not who I thought she was. The next up, my poor little little! Basically she never felt that she had a big to begin with so she really does not know what to miss. I told her how I would always be there for her and she could come to me no matter what. Saturday was the meeting and not much happened there. Just the president giving a huge sob story about her life and promising to do better next term. They did make some changes though regarding the elections for next semester, which might change things for the better. Unfortunately, my little did not attend this meeting. Instead she felt it necessary to play jenga (or so I've been told) with a girl in another sorority. Now, the sorority has not had a meeting in months and you were under the impression that your president was either going to step down or be impeached, isn't this a meeting that you feel would be important to attend? Seriously, I do not get it...

So Saturday night after the meeting me, Z and B went into the city to celebrate B's 23rd birthday. We went to the Trailer Park Lounge in Chelsea and it was kind of hysterical. The place looks like a legit trailer park, complete with a mobile home right in the middle of the bar. We had a good time and drank terribly strong margaritas. Since we did not eat dinner, we decided to get something at the bar and the food was just as trash-tastic. I had (burnt) mac and cheese and tater tots and felt like a kid again. The decor was also amazing. It was as if they raided every garage sale on the east coast for the tackiest shit that they could find. My favorites included the random displaced Christmas decorations click and Santa ridin' dirty click. Also, there was Elvis memorabilia EVERYWHERE. Since Z needed to leave early I caught a ride home with her (I had work the next morning) and was in bed by 2 - no hangover for me at work!

I'm definitely glad that I got to spend a lot of time with my sorority sisters this week but next time I would like to do so, minus the drama. Tonight I am most likely closing and then going for coffee with my big and twin!

Z and I have decided that on September 1 (next week!) we are going to join Weight Watchers. I cannot tell you how many times I have joined but I seriously want to make a change in my life. Let's just hope I follow through with it this time ...

Idk, my bff Angel?

Yesterday I ended up taking a mental health day and Dora did as well! We had a much needed bonding day where we both spent way too much money. We started out small, getting our nails done and for the first time in a very long time, I got tips. They are very short because I cannot type with long nails. This is just so they don't break/chip and I actually really like them. Then we turned our madness over to the state of New Jersey and things started to get a little funny.

We first went to Marshalls where I found a cute little trunk for my room and OMG!? my favorite Kathy Van Zeeland wallet but in ZEBRA. So of course I had to fucking buy it. Omg, amazing and only $20. I'm in love. Who needs a man? Seriously, a vibrator and my Visa (credit card that is, not a document stating that I am allowed to be in this country) are all I need to get by. If needed, I'll adopt a baby from Korea because they are adorable. Ok, back to my post...

We then ventured over to Chevy's and that is where the fun began. Dora and I frequent Chevy's to the point of us recognizing (and they do us as well) host/wait staff. Yesterday we had a waiter that I had never seen before. Enter Angel... Instead of my making up a name I will just use his drag queen pseudonym. Angel came over to our table while Dora was in the bathroom and DIED over my wallet (I had a tendency to change wallets/sort receipts at the table at restaurants) and I knew right then and there, that this was love. You see, I need a gay best friend. I need a man who is just a big of a bitch as I am to give me advice. He could make fun of others with me and then turn around and bring me back down to earth when I'm freaking over some asshole that is in my life. I want a boy that I could go shopping with (since my style tends to err towards the side of flamboyant), stare at hot guys with and of course, to go out and make fun of less fortunate looking people with. I definitely need a man like that in my life. I was thinking of posting an ad for one on craigslist and seeing how far that gets me. So for the entire meal Dora and I sat there trying to figure out how we would convince Angel to join our wolfpack. You see, I've never asked a man out before, much less a gay one so I was very nervous. We ended up telling him how fabulous he was and asking him out. He works at deko in Jersey (think the cast of Jersey Shore, going there when they were underage) and gave us his number so maybe one day we might pay him a visit, (hopefully) get drunk for free and then see who can stand on one foot while touching their nose to determine who drives home.

Today I am meeting up with B for lunch since she has an interview this morning in midtown and then after school I have a training class at work and afterwards I will be attending a much needed bitchfest with some more of my favorite sorority sisters. I will be seeing some girls that I have not seen in way too long and I cannot wait for that!

Oh, I need some advice! Since my skin thinks that I am 12 and not 22, I have a slight situation regarding blemishes/mild acne. Ten years ago I would have used proactive to treat this but since that stuff does have an expiration date, I have nothing on hand. I was thinking of trying Zeno since the ads featuring Whitney Port managed to grab my attention. I also basically have spots/giant random pimples so a spot treatment like that seems best. Has anyone tried this?! Does it work!? Please comment, regardless if you follow/normally read me or not! Thank you so much!

Here's to the person that I thought you were...

Have you ever had that person in your life who you were always proud of? Even though you are not as close as you once were with this person, you always tried to be there for them in anyway possible. My little and I are not as close as we could be but I mainly blame our age difference (she's 20) and thought we would probably hang out more next year when we could get in the same places. She always knew how proud I was of her and that I would be there for her no matter what. Back when we were picking who we wanted, I ended up loosing this one girl to a girl who had the pick before I did. I was crushed but happy once I got to know my little, realizing how similar we were. I guess this summer just changed that all ...

Yesterday as I was clocking out of work I got a call from one of the younger girls on my tree who I adore. She is graduating early and is interested in running for president this winter and calls me, as an older girl, for advice. I knew something was wrong when I picked up and she yelled "I hate your little and (another girl)" - two girls who are not only on her family tree but her pledge sisters as well. For two hours I sat in the parking lot at work listening to the havoc that these girls have wrecked this summer. From causing un-necessary drama with a sister whose father just unexpectedly passed away to sleeping with a guy that another sister was hooking up with, there just seems to be no end in sight. I just feel terrible for her little (my little-little) because now apparently they hate each other. I am not close with my big so I always wanted them to be close with each other. Not only this but there is also drama surrounding the president, or lack thereof and how she was doing her best to ruin everything that I had once stood for. It has gotten so bad that the active girls have not had a meeting (or community service event) since June and we even have a member of the Executive Board thinking about resigning. I have seen the sorority in its highs and lows and this is by far the worse that I have seen. There is a meeting next week that me and some other alumni members are going to attend because there is a lot that is going to happen and be discussed there.

I am definitely not getting as involved as I used to and frankly, I was not going to get involved at ALL (aside from giving advice) but this concerns my little and I feel as though I have to be there. I will still give my little the benefit of the doubt and hear her out but hearing this was just very shocking. Obviously she is not innocent in this but I think that she has been provoked this summer. I will still be there for her if she needs me, I am just very disappointed in her.

Anyway, I ended up meeting up with the girl I was on the phone with and a few other girls that my little apparently terrorized this summer (they are all best friends) and I lost my True Blood virginity! I was very lost but I liked it enough to watch the next episode/catch up on this season.

On Saturday Ice Crotch and I trekked out to Whole Foods which is my favorite store to shop at. We got a lot of healthy things and I plan on cooking for the week so I might be able to get on the right track as far as eating is concerned. My semester is also winding down and my classes for the fall are all confirmed so it seems like this might be a great week coming up. This is good because this weekend was horrible!

Oh and BTW, I made a Tumblr and you can find it here. It basically will be a 365 Project but I just did two posts to "test" it out so I will definitely try to start that today. If I cannot take a picture I will definitely post a quote or something that sums up my day. All of my pictures have to come from my phone since the software for my camera ONLY works on a PC (WTF!!?! Anyone else have this issue?!) so they won't be high quality.

challenge wednesdays

So last week's challenge of not logging onto facebook for a week was somewhat successful. With the exception of a random status update and one notification check (both done on my phone), I did not log onto the site. Today I just logged on for a few minutes and have not logged back in since. I really have no desire to and I just think that the site causes way too much drama. I ended up seeing some pictures from a fraternity's formal that kind of caused me to raise an eyebrow. If you have been reading my blog for a while you would remember the fiasco that occured with picking a date for my formal. While going through the pictures I noticed a girl that I friendly with was LumberJack's date. This stuck out to me, not because I was jealous or anything but because she was one of the few people that I told that I had a slight crush on him. Obviously, the feelings were not mutual or he would not have canceled on me but that's not the point. I don't really associate myself with these people, but I wouldn't want to be a laughing stock either. One of the things on my 101 in 1001 was to wean myself off of facebook, I guess I can cross another item off of this list!
Anyway on to this week's challenge -

DO NOT DRINK SODA FOR ONE WEEK. This includes when I go out to eat, which is when I actually drink the most soda. This one is going to be very difficult, especially since this weekend I am going out to dinner twice.

Who is with me on this one?

[Oh and in reference to my last post, Ellie passed away this morning. May she rest in peace and her family find comfort in knowing that their little girl is at peace and in pain no more]

the universe may not always play fair but at least it has a hell of a sense of humor.

Since the premiere of Sex and the City 2 is later this week I felt it would be fitting to title this entry after one of my favorite quotes. Of course I was a little skeptical about the sequal because I don't want them to kill it for me but it is already receiving good reviews.

I did not realize that its been ten days since my last post. I just did not think school and work would be as time consuming.

So court reporting... so far, so good. Just very, very challenging. Right now I am managing to keep up with it and am getting in a decent amount of practice each night so its not SO bad but it definitely is difficult to get used to. You have to type in shorthand which in itself is like learning a different language. It is definitely not easy but I know that if I keep up with it I will be fine. I feel like a high school freshman though. Since our real steno machines have not come in yet, we have these rentals that are like circa 1970 and they come in this backpack. With the machine and all of my books in it, the bag has to weigh at LEAST 40 pounds and sweet Jesus, is it heavy! I never thought I would look forward to having a wheely bag in my life. I like the school though, I made some friends in my classes and love that I am in downtown.

So this past Friday was formal. Due to a series of unfortunate events I was actually NOT attending this year, up until 1:30 that afternoon. In a quick rush I managed to get a mani/pedi/wax, buy shoes/pantihose and pack up my things by 4 and was on the road. It was a complete SHITSHOW and I was a disaster. I had a lot of fun, I danced my ass off, drank my face off and then cried my head off. If I remember correctly, I looked at the empty seat next to me and remembered that back when I was with Tight Wad, I never had formal date issues. Apparently I was laughing hysterically as I was crying because I realized how stupid I sounded. All in all, I had a lot of fun and I am really glad that I went. I really needed to let lose and that is exactly what I did!

So yesterday Dora dropped one hell of a bomb, that she was planning on moving to North Carolina. Obviously, that is one hell of a trek from New York City. I think I reacted the way any normal best friend would. I'm obviously not happy about the fact that she is moving far, far away but I agree with and am almost jealous of her motive of beginning her life. This does not mean I will be happy ABOUT it, but when the time comes I will be happy FOR (and supportive of) her. However, she needs to adopt an unconventional, non-domestic animal and name it after Atticus Finch, or else.

money can't buy you class

To whoever watches the Real Housewives of New York - OMG LuAnn's song is horrible! Seriously, I have a better singing voice than this woman and I think I sound like a cow being raped when I sing.

Today was seriously one of the worse days that I have had in a while. LumberJack ended up bailing on me for formal. He couldn't get off of work and his band also has a show that he forgot about. So I guess that's my karma, right? I asked the Idiot Savant to formal first and then turned around and asked LumberJack, who I knew I would have much more fun with. Now LumberJack turns around and bails on me, with one week until formal. I just don't get it, like it always seems like when someone hurts you, the way to make yourself feel better is to say "what goes around, comes around". Now maybe its because I don't care to stick around and see but its like karma never bites someone else in the ass. Not only do I not have a formal date now but I got obnoxious phone calls and had a small string a bad luck a few weeks ago. What gives? People do messed up/selfish things ALL of the time, how come I can't do it once in a while?

I just seriously have NO idea what to do right now. The people I actually like - I'm not a fan of the younger girls, with the exception of the most recent class - I love them ALL, basically all have dates so I don't know it might be weird. I decided that I am no longer staying over so I'm going to cancel the hotel room and I am having one of my favorites drive my car home and I am going with her. A lot of the girls I am closer with are not going this year, mainly because of price. It just sucks because I know I would have had a lot of fun with him.

Gotta love it when a guy you are not even with, disappoints you.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

So I'm done with finals and my last two grades just posted. I had the opportunity to do really well this semester and I was for a while, but then I realized that staying in the university was not what I needed to do and that I desperately needed a change. Now I'm going straight into my next semester next week, with only less than a week of a summer vacation. I guess its time to grow up since none of my friends have one anyway. I'm looking forward to it though, I love being in the city and for once I will be doing something that is going in a direction that I need to be. I am no longer wasting time in school, taking classes I don't need only to graduate in two years and STILL have no clue what I want to do. At least in this program I will still be in two years of school however, at the end of these two years I WILL have a job and I will get to start living my life.

This whole week I have been thinking a lot about my past. Monday was (most likely) my last day ever on campus. I watched girls who pledged the year after I did pick up their caps and gowns and it down right scared me. I remember their rush period and pledging process like it was just yesterday... but it wasn't. It was fall 2006, almost four years ago. I feel like fall 2005 was just yesterday as well. I remember starting college, fresh out of high school, having no idea what to do with my life. I was fortunate enough to meet the older girls in my sorority and hit it off with them and feel at home. I guess I was fortunate to meet Tight Wad as well, he taught me what it was to love and to be loved in return. He also taught me what it was to be hurt like I had never been before, how to guard myself against it happening again and best of all - what I am really looking for in a guy. Sure, I have made many mistakes in the last four years but I am grateful for each and every one of them. Its funny but most of the lessons that I am taking from my "college experience" are about life, not academics. It was bittersweet to drive off of campus for that one last time but I know that now I am much wiser than I ever was before.

So today I went and had my Japanese straightening touched up. Since I am really last minute and impatient, instead of having it done at my usual place in midtown, I had it done at this place on Staten Island. They used the same process so I figured nothing could go wrong. I'm hoping that I am not wrong about that. First of all, the treatment burned my scalp, where the treatment I have in the city does not. Then I noticed that the place was filthy! Like the floor looked like it hadn't been swept in a while and I freaked when the girl kept dropping the clips/comb and then putting them directly back into my hair! Sorry, but I skieve that shit, especially when the floor is litered with other people's hair and dirt. EWW! And I can't wash my hair for four days! My hair by the way, looks terrible! It is WAY too flat to my head and ugh, this is going to be a difficult four days. I just hope when I wash it this weekend it comes out with a little more volume. I am going to go to a girl I know from school to get it cut next week, just in time for formal. So I hope it all works out.

Tried on my formal dress yesterday. I got it from Avon and paid all of $30 for it - SWEET! It fits nicely, I just need a better bra for it and I don't know if its because its slimming but my butt looks HUGE in it. I was looking at it like um, where did you come from? Oh well, luckly for LumberJack ;)

so on a scale from one (nice girl) to ten (complete bitch), where does this rank?

Holy hell, two posts in one week? It must be finals time!

I "liked" (since you can no longer become a fan?) of this page on facebook called "reaching the point where harmless procrastination meets "oh god im screwed" and unfortunately I am now at that point. I always do amazing at the beginning of the semester and it usually just takes one little thing to throw me off track permanently. This time it was a mere sinus infection that had me to the point of not being able to breathe. I had to miss school one day and that was it. Unfortunately this was a while, I was actually still hooking up with Minute Man again at this point and I have not been back to my 7:30 class since that day... until this morning, the last day of that class. I hate how I always do this to myself, I always have a really good chance of getting an A in almost every class and then I squander it. This time was even worse because of my "life changing" decisions made during Easter Break. I no longer saw a reason to attend class anymore because none of my classes will transfer over to NYCI, not even as electives. I showed up to the class today, for the first time since like St. Patrick's Day and was greeted with weird looks from not only my professor but from other members of the class. I completely missed everything but since I was doing so well in the class my professor decided to let me make up the work I have missed. I won't get in a good grade in the class, I don't want one nor do I feel that I deserve it, but if I receive a F I will have to wait six months before going to NYCI and that CANNOT happen. I think I'd just jump off the Verazzano and spare myself the trouble.

Well, its spring time and that can only mean one thing for a sorority girl - FORMAL TIME! My first three formals I was very lucky, I had Tight Wad as my boyfriend so I never had to scramble for a date. Last year (formal is always mandatory date) I took this guy that I knew from school who is a lot of fun. He ended up hooking up with another girl's date (another boy) in front of me and since I was sad about not being at formal with a date I loved, I did not appreciate that too much. Ironically, I ended up meeting Minute Man that weekend, who would have been the perfect formal date at that time. As an alumni, it is not mandatory for me to take a date so I lucked out this year. Since the majority of the girls I am close with are not going to formal I decided that I should take a date. Since we are truly single right now with no prospects I had to search for one. On impluse I decided to ask this guy in another fraternity who I knew had once had a crush on me. Slight problem though, A) I'm not at ALL physically attracted to him and B) he is socially retarded/awkward. It would be ok if he had more of a personality and I knew I would have fun with him but I don't think I will. Also, I plan to be a complete shitshow this night and I have to share a bed with him, if I hooked up with him I probably would hang myself. Yesterday I was sitting in the cafeteria and heard about another guy in a fraternity wanting to go to formal. While I am no where near attracted to this guy either, I definitely would want to take him more than the Idiot Savant. He is very funny, my age and I know I will have fun with him without having to "babysit" him, since most of his fraternity brothers are already going with other sisters. I just feel really bad because he sounded excited when I asked him and just really wants to go to formal. I'm going to try and see if another girl will take him. I would really like to take the funny guy because I also wouldn't kill myself if something happened after the formal. Not that I'm banking on it occuring but it would not be the worse thing to kick off my summer. I just can't tell IS about it today, since its his birthday and I don't want to make him feel bad on it.

Since when did I become such a bitch? I can never be the one to end things/do something in MY best interest. Case in point - Tight Wad and Minute Man. Both were situations that I knew I needed to get out of but THEY had to be the ones to end it, not me. I need to change this about myself. Oh well, more goals for the summer!