I hate not having enough time to post in this. School and work have just been in full swing lately and even though it is stressful, I feel that I am doing quite well. We are on the last chapter of theory in our book and now we start to build speed very soon so I am kind of nervous about that. I know I will be fine in the beginning. Just from seeing/hearing others I am confident that I will end up passing my 70 at the end of this semester. I manage to practice often and I just know myself. After that? ... not so sure. I have heard that a popular speed that people get stuck on is 90 so I've braced myself for it. I know that this is a hard and frustrating thing to do however, I also know that it is not impossible. I also know what I am capable of doing once I apply myself to something but unfortunately this is something that I have failed to do consistently all throughout my life. I was starting to feel bad that the majority of my posts are about school but then I thought fuck it. This is MY blog, about MY life and if right now my life is mainly just school, then so be it. It is not going to be like this forever. This is just one long, boring chapter in the book of Nikki.
Speaking of school, I guess I must have not graduated high school in 2005 because I feel that I am right back there all over again. There is A LOT of drama that goes on here and I actually think its because the majority of us are from Staten Island. I guess I just expected this to be more of a professional environment, especially because everyone here is training for a career as opposed to say a job. Whatever, I need to block it out and not have it bother me. In the end, this is MY life I am bettering so it really does not matter what the people around me are choosing to do with theirs.
For reasons that I will not go into at this time, I have been feeling very lonely lately. On Saturday I went over one of my sorority sister's houses and had a much needed girls night. We ended up going to the local sex store and just having a lot of fun. I guess its been a long time since I was regularly getting laid because they have all of this new stuff that I was not aware of. One of the items that someone had found and purchased were these mints that numbed the back of your throat. Trust me, they actually work as well. Unfortunately I have not yet learned to separate sex from emotion (that summer goal was not completed... FAIL) so I did not have a little um "friend" that I could send a text to about this. This does not bother me as much because for the first time in like ever I am actually truly content with being single. Not to say if I met a guy who truly knocked me off my feet I would not go for it but for right now, this is working for me. I guess it is a blessing in disguise that the guy I have a serious crush on might have a girlfriend. Sometimes life is funny that way I guess. Its just a little unfortunate that somewhere out there, there is a guy who missed out on an amazing blow job.