Thursday, September 9, 2010

How many boxes of Kotex does one really need?

My mother and I are two completely different people. One of the major differences is with cleanliness/organization. It must be the Virgo in me because when I get the free time (which I have some more of now), I am a freak with organizing things. My mother on the other hand, is not. I don't know if I would classify her as a hoarder but she is not too good about throwing things out. Case and point, the upstairs (full) bathroom. Tuesday night I was brushing my teeth and getting ready to go to bed early (like 11:00) when I noticed how packed the bathroom cabinet was. Upon further investigation I realized that the majority of items crammed in there were about to celebrate their 3rd birthday. A half hour and a bag filled with expired products later, I was finally ready for bed. The amount of useless junk in the cabinets did not even COMPARE to what was actually under the sink. There was a mountain-sized pile under there just waiting to either capsize or have someone rescue it. Since I was off from work on Wednesday I decided that I would tackle that pile after school. So I put on some Eminem (best music to clean to), brought over the arsenal of cleaning products that I keep in my room, sat Indian-style on the bathroom floor and went to work. I threw out almost everything that was under there. Who knew that common items such as hydrogen peroxide and static guard have expiration dates? While I was cleaning things out, I found some mold. I had to send pics to Dora to clarify that it was in fact mold and not... presents from a little visitor. I seriously would not have recovered from that or finding the dead (or... alive) culprit in the back of all of this stuff. I guess this explains why I have this hacking cough in the bathroom and only the bathroom. Then I decided to tackle one of the drawers in the bottom of the counter. I could not believe all of the crap that I found down there! I swear we must own stock in Kotex or something. So I went on a throwing out rampage of all of the feminine products as well. As being the sole menstruating being in this household (the dog was sewn up), I feel that I have the authority to pick and choose which products I will use and will not. This is around the time that my mother came home from work. The conversation then proceeded to go a little like this:

Ice Crotch: "Um... why are you throwing out these perfectly good tampons?!"
Nikki: "I think I have the right to decide what I do and do not stick up my vagina"

Seriously, its not like I was throwing out anything that she might use one day. One does not need four different kinds of pads and three different types of tampons. Its not like I have the flood gates going, it comes every month for like 3-5 days. One box of each is sufficient. Don't even get me started on the twelve different kinds of floss that are in the toothpaste drawer. I guess I will get to that another day.

I have to go to work so this will be cut short but let this be a lesson to everyone - EVERYTHING expires eventually and even so often you should clean the bottom of your bathroom sink because it WILL get moldy.

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