Easy semester? Well shit I spoke too soon.

I had such a relaxing week off. I got most of what I wanted accomplished, my room is nearly done and I am just waiting on my corner piece which has been backordered until early November. I decided to cap off the week by driving down to Lancaster, PA to visit Marathoner and her husband at their new house. I woke up really early and it took me about 2-2 1/2 hours to get there. Not bad, just a very boring drive to do alone. We had a lot of fun and it was great to see them and catch up. We went to the outlets and I kind of went crazy in Coach. Like $300 worth of crazy. I guess I could justify it with the fact that I got a lot of school and if I paid retail I would have spent over $700. I ended up FINALLY getting a brown bag that I loved and got a really good deal on it. After that debacle they took me out to dinner for my birthday which was great since we ended up missing each other's birthday celebrations because of life getting in the way. Instead of going out we ended up spending a quiet evening at their house playing guitar hero, rummy 500 and monopoly with Marathoner's mother and friend. It was a lot cheaper than going out drinking and definitely made it much easier to wake up Sunday morning. I guess I just really needed a nice, relaxing end to my mini vacation and that is exactly what I got. Also, I realized that playing guitar hero could help improve my finger dexterity which would overall help me build speed so I guess I will be practicing more after all.

So the semester started again today. I seriously could not believe that I was waking up for school again this morning especially with this shitty weather that we have been having. I was fine in my medical terminology class and can even be quoted saying that I felt that this was going to an easy semester. That all changed when I walked into my steno class. The way this class is set up is that for the first 10 lessons we have theory and then we start learning how to build speed. I like our teacher so far, today he actually introduced us to a new way of sitting which has improved my writing. Then came the fun part - the homework. Now don't get me wrong, last semester our teacher did assign us homework but nothing like this guy. Today was just the first day and already he has us doing two lessons, two times each. Unfortunately, I can't just wing it and do the homework between my breaks anymore, I actually have to practice. I knew this point would come sooner or later. Well, goodbye social life... It was fun while it lasted!

So far my predictions for the semester are - A) I go for a drive, park my car on the lower level of the Verrazano Bridge¹ and decide to take a swim or B) I will become completely dependent on Adderall causing me to have a Jessie Spano-like freak out at 4AM while practicing. Lets just hope that no innocent bystanders will be harmed during this term.



_{1. Ironically there is a sign that reads Life is worth living at the entrance of that bridge. Apparently that is THE bridge to jump off of if you live in Staten Island.}

With a new season comes new priorities.

Sorry I have not been posting as much, since the semester ended last Thursday and we have a week off from classes I decided to take off from work as well this week. I have been taking a lot of time to just relax and do the things that I will not have time to do once the next semester begins. Not gonna lie, it feels fucking AMAZING not to have any responsibilities. I guess this is why I loved living a lazy existence for so long. I have said it before and I will say it as many times as I deem necessary, I cannot believe that I am here and how proud I am of myself. I know its only one semester and I have to complete many others but given my history with school, having a successful semester is a huge deal for me. I am just kind of nervous about next semester and starting speed. Everyone says that building speed is one of the most frustrating things you will ever do so needless to say, I am freaked out. Ugh anyway enough about this court reporting shit on my week off.

This week I have been semi-productive. My aunt and I finally finishing decorating most of my bedroom, a project that has been in the making for three years now. I say almost because I have this corner tower thingamabob coming in the mail. Once that arrives my room will be complete and I will take some pictures. I am truly happy with the outcome of it so far and since it is such a change (we all know how I love change) it will just get some getting used to. One of my goals for this break is to flip my closet from summer clothes to fall clothes. I am convinced that I am starting to develop OCD because I have recently become obsessed with organizing and cleaning up things. To the point that I cannot rest without things in the room being fixed. I am sure my co-workers love this because not one person who I close with has had to clean for the past few weeks. The only thing else I could think of is nesting but since its been a one-way street down there for a few, I highly doubt it. Anyway, tomorrow my mother is taking off of work (solely to annoy me) I am taking advantage of it and recruiting mommy for a little shopping spree. I am paying of course but sometimes she will throw a shirt or two my way, just for shits. I figure once I buy all of my fall/winter clothes THEN i could convert my closet/drawers. I guess this is what you think and write about when you have no life. My school and work life have teamed up and turned my social life to shit. I guess its for the better though since I am starting to save money. Another thing I have been doing this break is going exploring with Dora! On Monday we went to a few more historical places on Staten Island and I took many pictures. (Whaddup Flickr) We also just talked about everything going on in life and it was just nice to have that kind of a day with her.

I have also done a lot of thinking this week. I have probably said this before but right now, I actually do not want a relationship. I am usually that girl who always needs to have a constant guy in her life but I don't know, I guess I just grew up? I just have a lot going on and unfortunately school is just going to become more and more demanding so this is something that I know I cannot handle right now. Since I have not had a guy in my life, it has just been so much less stressful and it has caused me to realize that it is just not worth it. Of course I have my um needs and all but that goes back to my learning how to separate sex from emotions. I guess that is one thing in life that I cannot plan (but we all know that I will try) so I guess this is a way that I could learn how to just go with the flow and let things happen. I just do not feel like dealing with the stress of if a guy likes me or if he is going to call/text me, I am on such a straight track with school right now that I do not need anything to deflect me. I guess I really am growing up...

So today was the first day of fall!! I celebrated by getting a dark color on my nails and toenails and by polluting the air in my house with apple cinnamon candles. The leaves are already starting to turn and hopefully soon enough the air will become cool and crisp! I am definitely looking forward to having a great fall and I hope everyone has one as well!

Nobody likes you when you're 23

Don't worry - I have not abandoned this blog! I am actually in the process of writing a post and so far it has been taking my four days to complete. Neurosis/procrastination at its finest!

So today I am 23... That's kind of a scary thing. I mean, I'm not dreading it like I was my 22nd birthday but it just feels weird to me. I would kill to go back to 5 years ago this time. I was going to meet this guy that I met off of facebook (FB was ONLY for college kids back then, so it was legit lol) who lived in Long Island. I was driving there with two of my friends that I had met during freshman orientation and even though we did not get to hang out with my guy, we had a blast just having dinner in this random diner in Syosset, Long Island. Lesson learned, of course but still a fun night. I also remember that recruitment had just ended and that next morning I had a missed call from my would-be pledge mistress, telling me that she was giving me a bid to join the sorority. Things are done a lot differently now-a-days but I remember that seriously made my birthday. So much has changed in my life since then. For one, I was only on TAKE ONE of college and had yet to assfuck my life. Second, I had yet to fall in love. I did not meet Tight Wad until a couple of months later and although looking back that relationship was anything but ideal, I am still forever grateful for what I learned during it. I guess everything happens for a reason...

Cutting this short because its my birthday and I need my beauty rest!

How many boxes of Kotex does one really need?

My mother and I are two completely different people. One of the major differences is with cleanliness/organization. It must be the Virgo in me because when I get the free time (which I have some more of now), I am a freak with organizing things. My mother on the other hand, is not. I don't know if I would classify her as a hoarder but she is not too good about throwing things out. Case and point, the upstairs (full) bathroom. Tuesday night I was brushing my teeth and getting ready to go to bed early (like 11:00) when I noticed how packed the bathroom cabinet was. Upon further investigation I realized that the majority of items crammed in there were about to celebrate their 3rd birthday. A half hour and a bag filled with expired products later, I was finally ready for bed. The amount of useless junk in the cabinets did not even COMPARE to what was actually under the sink. There was a mountain-sized pile under there just waiting to either capsize or have someone rescue it. Since I was off from work on Wednesday I decided that I would tackle that pile after school. So I put on some Eminem (best music to clean to), brought over the arsenal of cleaning products that I keep in my room, sat Indian-style on the bathroom floor and went to work. I threw out almost everything that was under there. Who knew that common items such as hydrogen peroxide and static guard have expiration dates? While I was cleaning things out, I found some mold. I had to send pics to Dora to clarify that it was in fact mold and not... presents from a little visitor. I seriously would not have recovered from that or finding the dead (or... alive) culprit in the back of all of this stuff. I guess this explains why I have this hacking cough in the bathroom and only the bathroom. Then I decided to tackle one of the drawers in the bottom of the counter. I could not believe all of the crap that I found down there! I swear we must own stock in Kotex or something. So I went on a throwing out rampage of all of the feminine products as well. As being the sole menstruating being in this household (the dog was sewn up), I feel that I have the authority to pick and choose which products I will use and will not. This is around the time that my mother came home from work. The conversation then proceeded to go a little like this:

Ice Crotch: "Um... why are you throwing out these perfectly good tampons?!"
Nikki: "I think I have the right to decide what I do and do not stick up my vagina"

Seriously, its not like I was throwing out anything that she might use one day. One does not need four different kinds of pads and three different types of tampons. Its not like I have the flood gates going, it comes every month for like 3-5 days. One box of each is sufficient. Don't even get me started on the twelve different kinds of floss that are in the toothpaste drawer. I guess I will get to that another day.

I have to go to work so this will be cut short but let this be a lesson to everyone - EVERYTHING expires eventually and even so often you should clean the bottom of your bathroom sink because it WILL get moldy.

fuck you, fuck you very very much

So last night Dora and I had some much-needed alone time and where else to spend it but Chevy's. As of Friday Dora became FUNemployed so we had to go out and celebrate how much life is shitting on her at the moment. We ended up requesting our new favorite waiter Angel. He remembered us and we really had great conversation with him and OMG he is just fucking fabulous. I die. Dora and I were telling him about when we worked in a restaurant in high school (this is how we met) which turned into the three of us exchanging crazy stories. Apparently Angel, who is not one for hiding his sexuality (not that he should have to) and has actually faced discrimination for it at work. I could not believe that he has actually had tables call him a "fucking faggot" and to his face, no less. I was happy to hear that he comes from a very open family who accepted him for who he is but I just wish that he could have that everywhere he goes. He is just there to make money, plain and simple and that is something that everyone needs to get by.

This almost reminds me of when I was in high school. I went to a catholic all-girls high school and girls were famous for being gay there, almost to the point of it being the cool thing to do. I remember speaking to a girl in my classes about my dreams for getting married and having this lavish wedding and she turned around and said that she had the same dream, only she was not able to see it come true, based on who she loves. That was kind of my wake-up call to realize how unfair it really was. I feel that I would be the same person, regardless if I was gay or straight. That means that I would still want my dream wedding and to think that I could be denied this and basically a right to my happiness is almost sickening. A few years ago for speech class I did a persuasive speech on the sanctity of marriage and basically in my research realized how that all is a bunch of bullshit. I mean hell, I know of a couple (straight) who was married in May and is already getting a divorce. It is almost like marriage is a joke to us and it is kind of like a slap in the face to same sex couples because we are abusing something that they are not allowed to do. Marriage should not be just between a man and a woman but between two people who love each other. I guess I am speaking to the choir here. Its funny because I consider myself to be a person with conservative views as far as politics are concerned but this is just something that I feel is not right. Like who the hell am I to judge if someone can marry their true love or not. Another reason why this is on my mind is because of LZ. I'm not even going to say who she is to me in my life because God forbid someone finds this post but she is in love with another girl. I doubt she is a lesbian because as long as I've known her she has been attracted to men and she still is but she just happened to fall in love with a girl. The very sad part is that very few people know about this. It just makes me think back to my first love, everyone in this world knew about Tight Wad and how excited/happy I was. LZ feels the exact same way only she cannot share it with the people she is closest to, her family. She comes from an extremely conservative family (her and her siblings have not had a sip of alcohol until their 21st birthdays) and she fears that once they find out about her relationship (its been almost 5 months) they will kick her out of her house. Its strange because while I am so happy for them (they are ADORABLE together) I just feel so sad for them all at the same time.

After Dora and I left Chevy's the financial situation left us listening to Lily Allen in the car for a while. I am her new biggest fan, her songs are absolutely amazing! One of them in particular just summed up the conversation for the evening and ended up being the title of this post. This is just the way that I see things, I am a very conservative person, especially with topics such as welfare and immigration but others I feel that as long as you are not hurting others/the economy, which in turn hurts others - then you should be free to live your life as you please. The only thing that offends me about Angel is that he has better eyebrows than I do. But his are drawn on, so he's a little cheater at that one. I'm gonna get all Dr. Martin Luther King on ya'll but I sincerely hope that the world that my children live in is better than the one we are in now.

Just a moment, while we return to your regularly scheduled programming...

So I made a post but then I TOOK IT BACK because well, I felt that it sucked. So while I hang out with my best friend/re-write the post please head over to Meg's all new Labor Day version of MIngle Monday. While you're there getting new followers/readers, check her out because she's pretty awesome!

HAPPY SEPTEMBER!

So instead of practicing for the final that I have in approximately THREE hours, I am making a quick, little post. Clearly I have my priorities straight.

Basically I am surrounded by a whirlwind of change right now. For once, I changed my blog's layout/NAME/theme etc so, um... CHECK IT OUT if you have not done so already! One of my closest friends, Marathoner is moving to Lancaster PA in a little less than two weeks. I am basically done with this semester and am moving on to my Advanced Theory class and am kind of terrified about starting speed (I have to ultimately write at 50 words/minute to pass the class). I just cannot believe how quickly this semester went by. More so, I cannot believe that a mere six months ago,I would not have even THOUGHT of doing this or being where I am today. To top this all off, I just started weight watchers today (again) so my eating habits are changing and hopefully I will learn to exercise more.

My favorite change of them all? FALL! I absolutely love fall and the month of September (birthday month!) and cannot be more happy right now. I love when the air gets crisp and you need to start wearing cardigans and light sweaters. I love wearing uggs and being able to paint my nails those dark/almost black colors. I love love LOVE pumpkin spice lattes and sipping them outside on a cool morning. I love the beautiful leaves and just the smell of fall in general. I actually want to take the times to do things this fall, like pumpkin and apple picking. If my sorority does so this year, I will definitely go with them to the Breast Cancer walk/Fright Fest (a yearly tradition). I need to learn how to let go and loosen up a little more, I might start to enjoy life more if I do so. I never used to look forward to fall like this, it always meant back to school so it sucked but now I love it!

I cannot wait for my birthday this year which is a HUGE switch from last year. Last year I basically was unhappy where I was in life. I had a very low paying job where I had NO hours, I was in St. John's still and had basically no credits under my belt and no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was coming off from Minute Man JUST ending things and overall was just in a bad place. Turning 22 did not seem like it was going to be such a great year of change. Boy, was I wrong! It took a few months but I finally got the hang of life. I guess it really does not matter how long you take to get there, just as long as you do.