Everyone else is doing it.

Since I have work in two and a half hours, laundry in its rinse cycle, curly hair and furry eyebrows, I decided to make a post and furthermore press myself for time today. 2010 was actually quite successful for me. I made a few mistakes, definitely learned a lot and overall made some changes that will affect me for the rest of my life. Here's a month-to-month look back at this past year of my life.

January 2010

I started this blog but wasn't too optimistic about keeping up with it. I guess I proved myself wrong. I pursued a job opportunity and started a DayZero Project as a way to keep my accountable with my goals for the near-future. I decided that I was going to stay single until I worked on myself enough first.

February 2010

I did not make one post however - I GOT A JOB! Quite possibly one of the two best things that have happened to me this year. I was very happy to start work and to finally start making money again. My sorority had formal recruitment and I officially became old when my little took a little of her own. I continued at St. John's and was actually doing pretty well with the semester at that point.

March 2010

I also did not make one post this month. In a moment of weakness I started things up with Minute Man again and we accidentally (because it was not the intention) became friends-with-benefits. Whoopsies. I went through training at work and became a certified teller. I started to become completely frustrated with my situation at St. John's and stopped going to class (!!) but worked my ass off and made MAD DOUGH, yo! So, I guess it could have been worse there. Also, things with Minute Man quickly ended because well, fucking duh. I vowed to never be that stupid again with a man.

April 2010

I made the biggest decision of my life. On Easter I was sitting with my cousin talking about life in general, where I felt mine was going etc… when I realized that I needed to make a change. I knew that I was not going to be able to finish St. John's. I was not able to the first time around and I knew deep-down that it was not what I wanted for my life. Not to mentioned the $100,000+ in debt I would have been after graduation and STILL having to go to grad school, it was just not sensible. I decided to look into court reporting, something that I have always found interesting. I knew a few friends from HS who are reporters and decided to ask them about it. My mother FREAKED out and basically told me I was on my own. So I took the initiative, made appointments with people and registered myself there. It was the biggest step I have ever taken on my own but I knew that good things were going to come from it. Minute Man got a girlfriend in like literally a week so that was my way of realizing that things were just never meant to be.

May 2010

I found it very hard to finish strongly at St. John's especially now that I had officially transferred out and was taking classes that would not transfer over to NYCI. Finals week was a complete joke and I bullshitted my way through all of them. I took what could have been a 4.0 semester (I was working that hard) and wasted it ALL away. Oh well, lesson learned. I also did the most fucked up thing that I have ever done to a guy and not even seven days later had it completely blow up in my face. I went to formal anyway, got shitfaced and made an ass out of myself. What else is new? I also started classes at NYCI and realized that it was not going to be as easy as I thought.

June 2010

I got a little bored with the monotony of school/work/friends/rinse and repeat that my summer was about to become so I decided, like a moron, to subscribe to eHarmony. Just for shits and giggles, definitely looking to get a few laughs out of it. Laughs are definitely what I got. After some one disaster after another (and countless others) I decided to give up and change the premise of this blog from being about dating to being about myself.

July 2010

Never the one to easily give up, I decided to embark on a new dating journey with my best friend Dora and pretty much laughed at every desperate man that came my way. Dora seemed to have some success and I just ended up with the biggest creeps ever. I managed to find a normal seeming guy and then ended up having it not work out. I came to the conclusion that whenever I find a guy who seems to "get me", it never seems to work out. I also kept up with eHarmony because I was paying for it and ended up babysitting a child one Friday night.

August 2010

Since July had been cluttered with dating disasters and awkward moments, I decided to completely focus on myself and school from here on out. I realized that I have issues when it comes to dating and men but decided to put it all on the back burner. I purchased a MacBook and quickly realized that this would be the best credit card debt that I would ever have. I kept up with school and worked extra hours at work and finally realized that for the first time I was happy with where I am in life.

September 2010

Ah, my favorite month! I changed the name of my blog (for good!) and looked back on my life and realized how far I have come in the past year. I turned 23 and ended the semester, looking forward to a well-deserved week off. During that week I drove down to Lancaster, PA to visit Marathoner and her husband and had an amazing weekend. I also began a new semester and realized how tough it was going to be.

October 2010

Not much happened this month. School MURDERED me and I let pretty much every other aspect of my life (with the exception of work) take a backseat to it. One thing I wrote about was my Single-versary and I took a look back on how much my life has changed in the two years since Tight Wad and I had broken up. On Halloween I did something that I thought I would NEVER do in my life - I got a tattoo! and to me it was a sign of changing who I was for the better.

November 2010

This was a HUGE month for me school-wise. We started speed building in school and then testing. We took our 20 WPM and 30 WPM tests and I ended up getting 100 on both of them! I also got on the Dean's List which has ALWAYS been a goal of mine. I just felt so proud of myself for the first time in a very long time. On Thanksgiving I realized that I have so much to be thankful for. I started talking to the new guy and already began to create scenarios about how it was not going to work out.

December 2010

I started doing the Reverb10 prompts but then quickly stopped when I realized how every one of my answers were starting to sound the same. I went on a few dates with and started to really get to know the new guy. Of course I go crazy on him from time to time and so far he has been able to handle it. I am just worried that I am going to mess it up BECAUSE it seems to be going so well. I know, I sound insane but I am almost getting excited for it and I don't want that to cloud my judgment or make me blind to what really is going on. We took our 40WPM right before our Christmas break and I got 100 on that as well! It probably will be the last 100 I see but it was a great confidence boast to nail the first three speed tests that I took.

I really have to cut this short or else I am going to be late for work. There you have it, my 2010 in a nutshell, broken down by month. It wasn't always fun but for what I learned this year, I have absolutely no regrets!

I hope everyone has a happy and safe new year!

A permanent change...

So I'm not sure if you've noticed but I totally re-named this blog, again. I think this one is a keeper though. However, since changing it I have lost two followers so either a) they did not recognize the name/blog and got rid of it or b) my writing it shit and sucks and I suck. Unfortunately, it is probably the latter. When I have the free time I will definitely try to make a new header/fix my layout so that everything matches.

I went on a ginormous shopping spree at Lane Bryant and for the most part I am pretty set as far as fall clothes are concerned. I also decided to "Fall clean" (thanks to my blogger crush for that term) my room and got about as far as my closet. I cleaned out all of the shelves that are in my closet and dumped everything out onto my bed. It look horrifying and the mound was as tall as me. So then I went to Bed Bath and Friggin Beyond and purchased a shitload of organization canvas baskets. I threw out so much stuff, things that I forgot that I even owned. I've always been good about throwing things out though, I am sentimental yet practical. And just too much of a neat freak for my own good. After dirt-deviling my shelves (a necessary thing) I sorted everything into bins by categories and 5 hours, 10 bins and 2 HUGE garbage bags later, I was done. I have never felt so accomplished in my life. Next up? My drawers. My drawers are a disaster area and I have so much wasted space. I probably would be able to fit all of clothes in my room if I just organized my drawers. I guess I will leave that and finally finishing my bedroom (decorating) for the full week that I am off. I took off of work that week too because well fuck, I earned it! I am so damn proud of myself after this semester and the fact that I managed to do well at my job at the same time (something I have never done) that I might as well have a party.

Speaking of parties... I have decided what I am going to do for my 23rd birthday - go to Jose Tejas! For those unfortunate enough not to know what that is, it is basically a Tex-Mex restaurant that is not only cheap but the food is amazing! I had a really hard time with the facebook invite for this lol. I did not want to cause drama by leaving people out but lets just say that I hope that not everyone shows up.

I've decided that September 1st will bring forth many permanent changes in my life. I will not smoke anymore. Its mainly just a stress thing but its really not healthy for me and plus its disgusting. I will also try to exercise and definitely monitor/control my eating. Of course September 17 will be the exception but I just really want to change my life. Succeeding in work and school really gave me the feeling that I truly can do anything if I put my mind to it. Lets just hope that I can maintain this burst of energy/motivation that I seem to have. If anything, I always have this blog to help me with it.

it took almost 23 years but i think i figured something out

So today is August 10th (almost the middle of August) which means that my birthday is in exactly five weeks. Wow, 23 years old. Oddly enough I am not as upset as I was when I turned 22. All I could think about was how I was no longer 21 and starting to get older. What really depressed me though was that I was turning 22, had a minimum wage job where I was given only 8 hours a week and was basically in my sophomore year of college. There is nothing wrong with being 22 however, there is something wrong with being 22 and having the same lifestyle of a 19 year old. THAT is what I was being faced with. As I read back to the posts that I wrote around New Year's I can see that I just wanted this year to be different. I wanted to free myself from being trapped with the life of a 19 year old. I know that I have messed up in the past but I needed it to stop holding me back in the future. Hell, even six months ago I would not think that I would be where I am right now. I was not even hired at the bank yet, much less a court reporting student. I just feel like so much has changed in my life and for the better.

I am actually looking forward to my job. I have a decent paying job that I love and make good money and I am doing very well in school. I'm finally on my way to being in adult and I truly feel happy with life. It would be lovely to have a boyfriend, I'm sure but at least the more important aspects of my life are being taken care of.

This gets me to the main idea of this post. I have two years until my 25th birthday. Now THAT is scary. I do have a few goals that I would like to accomplish before that. By my 25th birthday - I would like to have graduated and be a freelance court reporter. This is VERY possible. Also, I want to have lost all the weight I want to/be healthy and be in the middle of training for the 2012 NYC Marathon. This I'm not so sure if it is possible. I mean, it could happen. Whether or not it is possible is entirely up to me. I would love for it to happen though, I am not getting younger and I am sure eventually my health will catch up with me. I just want every part of my life to be complete and just how getting job and finally figuring out what I wanted to do with my life have helped, I feel this will as well. Since I am terrible at dieting, I am just going to start with making smarter choices, such as not drinking soda anymore and not eating out as much. Its not that I eat poorly, I just do not exercise in any way, shape or form. Since the dog loves going out maybe I should just stop making excuses and start small with that? I mean, something is better than nothing, which is what I am currently doing. I am so proud of myself for all I have done in these past six months, I want to be able to look back in two years at all I have been able to accomplish with this as well.

I just hope I could finally figure out something that I can stick with.

i've officially become a creeper magnet

So sorry, I definitely did not neglect this blog. I just had a lovely holiday weekend which included work for 95% of it. I'm not really complaining though, for the first time in a very long time I can honestly say that I love my job. I love the people I work with and the fact that on the fourth of July when it was absolutely dead, we played mad libs and these kids games that we found off of the bank's website. I also got to work with a superviser that I normally don't and ended up bonding a little. I just find it a little odd that a bank was open on a federal holiday. Usually banks are one of the businesses that are closed on those days.

So the new dating adventure is going OK, I guess. I don't know, I guess I am really just not into it anymore. I am the type of girl that loves male attention but honestly that is not really phasing me anymore. I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I guess I really have hit that point where I don't care if I am with someone or not. I just hope that if I meet a guy that I am really interested in and like, that this all changes.

The guys that I am talking to; if they are not in their 40s they are divorced w/ kids, only want sex, or are SUPER SUPER CLINGY. To make it even worse, they are being clingy only after talking on BBM for like an hour. Then BBMing me over and over again if I do not answer right away. I've been trying to delete the weirdos right away when the cuckoo clock starts to chime, however the BBM icon is starting to appear as if those convos were still up and they were still talking. Back to the clinginess though, I just don't get it. I think I've mentiond this in other entries but what gives with guys being this clingy? It is SUCH a double standard because God forbid a girl was to act like this, she would be a complete psycho. I have had guys get turned off by my really wanting something to work after a few months yet I have some freakazoid saying that same thing after only BBMing me for an hour, without meeting me or anything.

One of the things that I really want to learn how to do is seperate sex from emotions. In fact it is item on both my 101 in 1001 and Knot List projects. This new dating adventure and me totally not caring would definitely help me accomplish this. Its just that I am a little EXTREMELY cautious to meet men off of the internet. For those of you that have met guys this way, how did you go about doing it? What did you make sure of beforehand? Please give me any advice you have, thank you!

She ain't got a man, but she's not alone

I figured this title was fitting because all of my doodling in school has consisted of either this or "Me, Myself and I". I guess doodling is limited for us single gals?

School has been going really well and I've managed to stay on top of all my assignments. This weekend is my half-sister's suprise 50th birthday party so I have to drive out to the Poconos early Sunday morning and as a result will not be going out Saturday night. Or if I do, it will be very lowkey. I will take that opportunity to do all the work I have due for next week and to get a nice, good night sleep. I have not seen them since the summer and things were a lot different then (mainly because Minute Man was in my life and it really seemed to be going somewhere) so I hope that we don't really focus on "catching up".

In that news, I still have not spoken to him and its been like a month. If he's not going to make any effort to be friends with me then I will not make any effort as well. I heard he is finally closing on his house on Monday so good luck to him if he is.

In much, much better news - I GOT A CALL BACK FROM THE BANK!! I interviewed today and I believe it went really well. Only problem might be my availablity (my class hours and the banks hours have left me available only 4 hours on two days) but the guy who interviewed me was in contact with the branch manager and will let me know by Monday if he needs me in his schedule! I'm so excited yet so, so nervous. I have never needed/wanted a job this badly before! I'm serious when I say my life will improve ten-fold. AH, well enough about that because I seriously do not want to jinx this. I have been looking in the paper everyday and it seems like the available jobs I qualify for are getting less and less each day so that's rather depressing.

I've decided to start doing weight watchers core again. Its the only thing that has really worked for me in the past and I find it the easiest to stick to. If I get this job I am going to be extremely busy so I probably would not have time for much else.

Well - those are my updates as of recently! Nothing really exciting, mainly because I am broke and can't go anywhere but hopefully this will be changing very soon!

So where do you work? At a funeral home

Now no offense to anyone who works at a funeral home, it just sounds kind of morbid. I was reading the classified ads today and the only one that interested me in terms of the hours and experience level was a receptionist for a funeral home. Its PT, Mon and Fri 5-10PM and Sunday 5-9PM. Only 14 hours but still those 14 hours work well into my school schedule. I went to Staples and faxed over my resume asap. I did a little stalker work with the help of my BFF google and found out that the funeral home is down the block from my house. Can we say perfect? Fingers crossed that I get this job! Its really needed :(

In other news today makes it one year since we've had Tammy!! She has come a very long way since we adopted her. We trained her to go potty outside, to SIT for a treat and she is much more relaxed around people then she used to be. She is still a nervous nelly but it is getting a lot better. As a special little treat we got her these dog cookies from a bakery so she could "celebrate".

OMG do I really go back to school this week? I'm truly going to take advantage of these next two days. Tomorrow I am going to clean my room, do my laundry and get some sushi with a girl who is planning to rush my sorority this semester. Hopefully I'll do something tomorrow night since it is my last night of freedom. Tuesday I'm going to get my car washed (weather permitted), new tires and windshield wipers and probably cook for the week. It is also one of my sorority sister's 21st birthday so I'm going to stop by Rhythem and Brews for a little and celebrate with her. Then Wednesday is the first day of classes :( Unfortunately Ice Crotch is going to be home all this week and already she is starting to annoy me... Great, can't wait!

Here are some pictures of my baby girl -


Me Giving her a cookie


I guess they taste pretty good!

You could tell by my attitude that I'm most definitely from New York

poHov - I love you and all but I am sick of this song! Don't get me wrong, I loved it when it first came out and blasted it like the proud New Yorker that I am. I just got really sick of it, especially after we won the World Series.

So I told my marathoner best friend that I was planning to run the 2012 NYC Marathon with her. She didn't really take me seriously. I mean I cannot blame her, she's seen me like this before - all gongho over something to just lose all motivation in a week or two. Also I think she felt that I was underestimating how hard it really is to run one, which I am not. That's why I am giving myself nearly three years to accomplish this. I feel that I might be able to do this, especially if I use running as a way to lose weight. Marathoner offered many tips and to help me train and even to just learn how to run but she was still slightly skeptical. Cannot say I blame her.

So I hung out with one of my other best friends who from here on shall be referred to as Dora the Explorer since tha main thing we do together is explore Staten Island. Dora had some fabulous news - she was offered for the job she went for! So I rubbed her forehead for some good luck that I am offered the job that I went. I cannot even tell you what this job will do for me - it will seriously make my year! I must say, 2010 so far has not been a bad year. However, we are only 5 days in. I have managed to not speak with Summer Fling since the New Year which is great. Honestly, if its meant to be then he'll miss me and contact me. If not, then I know. Life is just way to short to deal with any man's bullshit.

I was watching the BL season premiere tonight. In July I went to the open casting call in the city for shits and giggles. You are not interviewed alone, they put you at a table and see how you interact with the group. I was over powered by two very loud, obnoxious women from Long Island. While this was going on past contestants were walking around observing us. When I went to leave I was stopped by two of them who told me that their job there was to see who stood out to them and I stood out to both of them! They said that I definitely had the look that the show was going for and should submit a tape because I really didn't stand out during the interview. (well duh, I was being over powered by two blonde wooly mammoths) So needless to say, I was estatic! However, the dates of the filming clashed with Marathoner's wedding so I did not send one in figuring it was not meant to be. I think just knowing that I could have made it meant the world to me. Even Minute Man was proud of me and I was debating on whether or not to tell him about it. This is the season that I would have been on and when I saw them weigh in in front of all of their friends and families I breathed the largest sigh of relief! I guess things really do happen for a reason because I would have NOT been able to do that.

Meeting two of my DD's (sorority sisters) for lunch and some shopping tomorrow so I'm going to go to bed now!

"Wherever you are - whenever its right, you'll come out of nowhere and into my life. I just haven't met you yet"

Heeellooo Michael Buble. Not a fan of you but I LOVE this song!

Someone better tell the Chinese that 2010 is the Year of Nikki, not the Tiger.

So I was just sitting here (watching Jersey Shore) and I got to thinking. I am going to be 23 this year and while that is technically not too old I do feel like my life is going by fast. I don't want to wake up one morning and feel that my life has passed me by. As I said in my last post I am still working on my lists of things to accomplish. I might just make it a random number or add to it as I go along, I'm not sure yet. All I know is this year has to be about me. I really need to change my lifestyle and I know that if I succeed in doing this, I will be better off in the long run not just health-wise either. I want to be the happiest girl in the world. I want to be one of those people that does not like shit get to them and just sees the best out of everything. I want to learn how to carry myself better and be more confident, not caring what others think. I want to learn when to walk away from things and to forget about how I feel but remember what I deserve in life.

Wow, I seem to want a lot of things in life. I just hope I have the will to actually get these.

Today I went to meet the man who is helping me to get a job. He works for a bank that is opening two new locations and they are doing hiring. I already submitted my application but being the economy is doing so well right now, I figured pulling a few strings could do no harm. Of course the man is GORGEOUS. Like I was totally beaming when I met him and shook his hand. Overall it went well, I flashed my award-winning smile and looked really cute. He said he was passing my resume along to that branch's manager so - fingers crossed!

Let me just take this moment to congratulate the lucky bitch that gets to sleep with him every night.

I did manage to get a lot accomplished today, much more than I normally would have. I woke up nice and early, eat and filling (and healthy) breakfast and did all of my laundry before getting ready to meet Mr. Bank Manager. I also did very well eating wise even though I did not follow a specific program or meal plan, I just used what was in my house and made conscious decisions.

Maybe this blog will keep me accountable with everything in life? Hope so but for now, I'm gonna go join my snoring puglet and get some sleep!