Sunday, January 10, 2010

What's my age again?

I was doing a lot of thinking yesterday about growing up and being considered an adult. My cousin (who will be 26 next month) was moving out of my aunt's house and it just dawned on me that he was no longer the 10 year old boy that my mother paid $2 a week to walk my dog every day after school. My other cousin (they're brother and sister) who is my age practically lives at her boyfriend's house so she has basically moved out as well. And there's me - still living in my mother's house, still an undergrad, and currently unemployed searching for part-time work. How did hell did that happen? You have no idea how I wish things were different. Life would have been so much easier if I just did everything how I was supposed to. I wish I would have just sucked it up with school, went to class and graduated on time. Seeing a few girls I graduated HS with last night really made me think about this as well. They all graduated last May and are working and living their 20's as they should be. I will be just four months shy of my 25th birthday when I finally graduate and that will just be with my BS degree, I still might have to get my masters as well! I feel as though I am destined not to succeed now that I wasted four years of my life not finishing school.

I really wish I would have had my wakeup call four years ago instead of now. I am 22 years old and I am living an 18 year old's life. I'm sure this was not the main reason it did not work out but I'm sure Minute Man (who's just a year older than me) had a hard time relating to me sometimes. I want to date men who are my age and older but this will be hard because we will be in two different worlds. Also, I'm sure it does not look attractive to meet a 22 year old college sophomore. I just want to be done with school already and live the life of a "normal" 20-something. I want to work like a dog during the week and start my insane weekend at 5:00 on Friday. I want to be able to save up so I could move out of my house and have deductions on my paycheck for things that I don't even know about. I just feel that by the time I graduate and am ready to start living this life most of my friends will be starting to settle down and get married. After all, 24-25 seems to be the common engagement/marriage age among all of my friends. I just hope its not too late for me...

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