Monday, January 11, 2010

Eyeliner and cigarettes

One thing you'll start to notice is that a majority of my blog titles will be Lady Gaga-related. I am obsessed with Lady Gaga, she is the next Madonna. She will creep you out but she could do no wrong. I think people are frightened by her because there are not many TRUE artists out there, like her. Just my personal opinion...

Dora the Explorer and I went shopping and then to dinner and we had quite the interesting conversation. Dora and I are opposites in many ways, especially when it comes to sex and matters of the heart. You see, Dora has the ability to "have sex like a man" and seperate all feelings and emotional attachment from it. I, on the other hand, do not. I am still building my list of things to accomplish and this is one of them. One thing I am scared of is just doing this but then becoming attached to a guy who wants nothing more than a casual thing. I am also afraid of it actually being good and me being SO excited about it that I post-coitally profess my love to him, scarring myself and chosen partner for life. Refer down a few posts to get what I mean by "actually being good". Its sad but my dog has probably have better sex than I have. I say this because before we adopted her she was a puppy mill dog used for breeding. I hope to make it my year for this and one of the things I am going to do (Dora suggested this) is to make a risk of rules and limitations for when I do have casual sex and I cannot bend these rules for ANY men, because well he does not matter. I feel bad, almost as if I will be using them but maybe this is just what I need. Maybe I'll learn valuable things about relationships, like when to walk away for example. That has always been a hard thing for me. I guess we shall just stay tuned and see what happens... BTW, still have not heard from Minute Man at all this year. Just saying.

I must say, Ice Crotch (my mom, don't ask.. she's had this nickname for like three years now) is really starting to get on my nerves. It is just the little things but still they are testing my patience, which there is not a lot of to begin with. For example I like to cook recipes off of hungry girl so we do food shopping according to these recipes. I like to have a few of them prepared in advance because they are very tedious. IC usually does this for me and I asked her on Saturday to prepare two for me this week. Do you think she did? No. When I go out to eat with friends she then complains that she has nothing to eat... um, cook for yourself? Thanks. She is completely able-bodied and capable of doing this on her own, yet she does not. She does work during the week but her work consists of sitting in her chair all day, on facebook playing farmville. That is another thing. Her computer died (um, its 8 years old so OF COURSE it died) so my laptop is the sole computer in the house. I actually have to ASK to use MY laptop which was supplied to me by school. Its really getting on my nerves lately especially since I'll close my laptop with things left up (such as my blog or photobucket) and when I come back she'll be using it. I don't want her to see these things and I just feel that it is a huge invasion of privacy. Ok, I'm done ranting, I'm sure people have it much worse off than I do.

School starts in a week from Wednesday and I am BEYOND terrified. I don't want to mess up this semester like I did last semester. Seeing those grades really did not make me feel good about myself. I just hope I really learned my lesson this time because I am paying $15,000 a semester and getting mediocre grades is just not acceptable.

Well I have to go tidy up my room a little since I have trouble falling asleep when it is messy. Goodnight!

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